HEALING WOUNDS AND MOVING FORWARD
BY KATHRYN ROMANI, MEDITATION TEACHER & SPIRITUAL HEALER
This ritual is a profoundly effective way of letting go, healing old wounds and moving on with your life. This is an especially useful ritual for mutual forgiveness with parents or siblings for offenses from childhood and forgiving or asking forgiveness from someone who passed away.
Conditions under which this ritual should be done:
1) When you have offended someone and wish to be forgiven but they are either no longer alive for you to talk to OR 2) When talking to the person about this matter would cause them (or you) pain and reopen old wounds OR
3) When you have made the emotionally mature decision to forgive someone who has offended you by omission (not saying or doing what they should have)
or by commission (saying or doing something that they should not have done to you).
Forgiveness has deep healing effects, both for you and for the other person. The person you are forgiving, or from whom you are asking forgiveness, is subconsciously affected by the energies that are sent to him/her in the ritual, regardless of how close or far away they are, or whether they are deceased. You do not have to inform the other person about this ritual; it is just as effective with or without their knowledge.
Let me share a story about how I used the healing ritual in regards to my mother... My mother flew 1,200 miles once a year to visit me and her grandchildren. From the moment she walked into our house until the moment she left, she criticized me, my home and my family. This made her visits feel challenging and left me emotionally hurt. When I was 50, I learned this ritual and did it with Mom as the subject. I told her nothing about it. I also mentally sent gratitude to her for giving birth to me and raising me. The next time she visited, I could not believe it — not a word of criticism came out of her mouth! We talked and laughed and truly enjoyed each other for the first time in decades, and her judgmental attitude never returned. I believe this spiritual ritual created the positive energy that empowered us to love each other unconditionally.
It is recommended that this ritual be performed at midnight, outdoors, when the energy of the environment is calm. But for practical purposes it can be performed whenever and wherever you are alone.
Stand facing North, close your eyes; standing in front of you, mentally imagine the person you wish to forgive or the person from whom you are asking forgiveness.
Place your hands, palms together in front of your heart as a sign of respect, and say:
“I forgive you (name of person) for everything you did that you should not have done and for everything you didn’t do but should have done. I ask you to please forgive me for everything I did that I should not have done and for everything I didn’t do but should have done.”
Turn to the West (counterclockwise), imagine the person and repeat the same thing.
Turn to the South and repeat.
Turn to the East and repeat.
Turn to the North again and this time say: “It is finished. All is forgiven; may it also be forgotten. I let go of this matter and ask the Universe to bless us both.”